Be an Ocean

I was all excited and probably for the first time in the year I was going to school on time.
For past eleven years I had always enjoyed this day. But this Teacher’s day was going to be a different experience because I was chosen for Nayar Madam’s role, the senior most mathematics teacher. Though I could decently ape her tone and style.....but teaching maths...ahem!!!!!!
On my way I saw a pool of muck along the roadside and a truck at some distance. My father was once a victim of such muck and truck case (while going to attend some family function)......and had spoilt his shirt.

As I entered the school I found a group of girls walking ahead of me. On any other day I would have loved to follow them till the end. But today I was dying to meet my friends. I thought of bypassing them, so I got down in the prayer ground and tried make some quick moves. .......and..... ..SPLASHED!!!!!! What father once did with his shirt ...... son did with his pant......spoilt!!!!!! Sir Charles Darwin would have called it hereditary.

I just couldn’t believe ... a big dark green patch on my right leg. I had hurt my knee too, but it didn’t bother me much. May be because I was more concerned about my outer image than my inner self. Every next moment I thought somebody will ask about the dark patch, but nobody did. Actually in real life very few people are interested in your business if they have nothing to loose or gain from it.

Throughout the day my friends kept on discussing what happened in their class. A sixth standard student gave Sanyukta a perfume bottle as a token of gift; most of us couldn’t believe it. Somebody said class IXth student are the worst student she had seen in her life. I remembered my class-teacher used to say the same thing to us when we were in class IX...... rather in every class from 1 to XII.

Finally my turn came to step into an interesting paragraph of my life. As I entered, I received the famous greeting “Goooood morniiiiiiiiiiing Bhaiyyyyyyyaaa” (somebody said ‘Mam’ too). I assumed next 45 minutes will be smooth. But like mathematics all the assumptions are not always correct in life.

”How many of you are very very comfortable with trigonometry, please raise your hands.”
As I expected there weren’t any.

I handed over the photocopies of the problem sheet I had prepared, and tried to observe their reaction. Some giggled, some frowned, some were anxious and some gave the look which said.........Aa gaya pakaane.

I concentrated back and said “Take the first one”.

The problem was from IIT JEE 1999. I moved around the classroom to see what they were doing. Most of them had started solving while some just gave the false impression of solving it. I realised how Nayar mam must have felt all the times when she had seen me giving the same false look.
I ignored my thoughts and moved towards the girl’s row. I knew it was not a good time to make rapport with the girls. It would take no time for the news to hit every ears of the school.........Samrat aaj XIth class mein chance maar raha tha. I moved on.

After 5 mins I said......
“Ok, please concentrate on the blackboard” and I solved the problem. I was doing it for the 2nd time on that day, as I have practised all of them once in morning before coming to school. I saw some impressed faces watching anxiously the trick that was hidden in the problem.

Same thing happened with the next 3 problems.
But then there was a sudden jolt in the cruise. I got stuck in the 5th problem. I couldn’t recollect the trick which was supposed to be applied there. I tried again & again but I couldn’t crack it.

I felt as if the whole class is laughing at me, my heart pounded heavily. All of a sudden there were beads of sweat on my forehead.

I walked across the classroom.
I was less scared about my inability to solve the problem but more about what will happen if I couldn’t. Over the years I have experienced we are more scared about the repercussion of our failure than its real cause. As a result we fear it so much that we are never ready to accept it.

Somebody rightly said......
Be an ocean not a mountain. An ocean which is so deep that it can engulf almost everything. It never opposes anything but its deepness scares everyone. It calmness confuses the opponents. Its outlook never allows to guess what’s there in its mind.
There is lot more in life to gain than to lose. Open the arms wide open, embrace everything....be it a success or a failure. Success gives celebration and failure provides experience. Both are important.

The noise of the class bought me back in the class.

I swallowed some air and said, “Class, I am not getting the trick which needed to be applied here.”

This was probably another good moment to observe their reaction, but my situation didn’t permit me. I looked outside to the window. I felt better ...as if somebody has taken weights off my chest. I had accepted my failure I was relaxed.
Finally the bell rang.

As I came out of the class, Pankaj asked “What the hell.......What happened to you.”
I was taken aback.
“What!!! What happened.........nothing......who said” I asked wiping my face.
As I looked towards him, found he was pointing towards the green patch on my pant.

I breathed a sigh of relief.