Time – A perplexing conundrum (#Take 1)

In stock market at 15% CAGR your money will give 66 times returns in 30 years. But what does 30 years means to your life. Comprehending the magnitude of time is one of the ‘important’ and ‘must-have’ skill that we all must cultivate. 

  Time – A perplexing conundrum 

Among all 3 spatial and 1 temporal dimension mentioned by science – time is the most difficult to comprehend. Other dimension leaves a unique experience for everyone – understanding of 1 meter and 1 mile and 1 light year is more or less same for everyone. 

But when it comes to TIME – people has different realization and connotation. One is theory of relativity of time where same duration of time means different for different people – 1 hour for me is different from what 1 hour means to you. 

But the other area is appreciating the magnitude of the time. 

Every day we meet many people who are not able to visualize events on a time-map 

• How many years back Taj Mahal was built 

• How many years back – Mughal came to India 

• When Gautam Buddha was born 

• When was Vedas written? 

• What was the situation in India when Europe was going through Industrial revolution? 

• When did life started on earth? 

A person lives on an average 80-100 years on earth. Earth itself is 4.5 billion years old? Can we really comprehend what 4.5 billion years mean? What impact can our 80 years of life make on this 4.5 billion old earth? 

Forget the age of earth, science and history says human civilization in only 4000-5000 years old. Does that mean human civilization started long back or is it comparatively a recent event? 

Development that happened in science and technology in last 100 years is mind boggling. Then what is significance of first 4000 years and how much next 50 years will mean for the human race. 

Understanding time and its magnitude may open-up the elusive dimension for every individual ‘To know what you don’t know’. 

Probably this may enable you to realize what is irreversible and unquestionable in these 80-100 years of yours? What should be mended, what can be left and what can be pursued? 

 Are you ready for a time travel with me?

Be an Ocean

I was all excited and probably for the first time in the year I was going to school on time.
For past eleven years I had always enjoyed this day. But this Teacher’s day was going to be a different experience because I was chosen for Nayar Madam’s role, the senior most mathematics teacher. Though I could decently ape her tone and style.....but teaching maths...ahem!!!!!!
On my way I saw a pool of muck along the roadside and a truck at some distance. My father was once a victim of such muck and truck case (while going to attend some family function)......and had spoilt his shirt.

As I entered the school I found a group of girls walking ahead of me. On any other day I would have loved to follow them till the end. But today I was dying to meet my friends. I thought of bypassing them, so I got down in the prayer ground and tried make some quick moves. .......and..... ..SPLASHED!!!!!! What father once did with his shirt ...... son did with his pant......spoilt!!!!!! Sir Charles Darwin would have called it hereditary.

I just couldn’t believe ... a big dark green patch on my right leg. I had hurt my knee too, but it didn’t bother me much. May be because I was more concerned about my outer image than my inner self. Every next moment I thought somebody will ask about the dark patch, but nobody did. Actually in real life very few people are interested in your business if they have nothing to loose or gain from it.

Throughout the day my friends kept on discussing what happened in their class. A sixth standard student gave Sanyukta a perfume bottle as a token of gift; most of us couldn’t believe it. Somebody said class IXth student are the worst student she had seen in her life. I remembered my class-teacher used to say the same thing to us when we were in class IX...... rather in every class from 1 to XII.

Finally my turn came to step into an interesting paragraph of my life. As I entered, I received the famous greeting “Goooood morniiiiiiiiiiing Bhaiyyyyyyyaaa” (somebody said ‘Mam’ too). I assumed next 45 minutes will be smooth. But like mathematics all the assumptions are not always correct in life.

”How many of you are very very comfortable with trigonometry, please raise your hands.”
As I expected there weren’t any.

I handed over the photocopies of the problem sheet I had prepared, and tried to observe their reaction. Some giggled, some frowned, some were anxious and some gave the look which said.........Aa gaya pakaane.

I concentrated back and said “Take the first one”.

The problem was from IIT JEE 1999. I moved around the classroom to see what they were doing. Most of them had started solving while some just gave the false impression of solving it. I realised how Nayar mam must have felt all the times when she had seen me giving the same false look.
I ignored my thoughts and moved towards the girl’s row. I knew it was not a good time to make rapport with the girls. It would take no time for the news to hit every ears of the school.........Samrat aaj XIth class mein chance maar raha tha. I moved on.

After 5 mins I said......
“Ok, please concentrate on the blackboard” and I solved the problem. I was doing it for the 2nd time on that day, as I have practised all of them once in morning before coming to school. I saw some impressed faces watching anxiously the trick that was hidden in the problem.

Same thing happened with the next 3 problems.
But then there was a sudden jolt in the cruise. I got stuck in the 5th problem. I couldn’t recollect the trick which was supposed to be applied there. I tried again & again but I couldn’t crack it.

I felt as if the whole class is laughing at me, my heart pounded heavily. All of a sudden there were beads of sweat on my forehead.

I walked across the classroom.
I was less scared about my inability to solve the problem but more about what will happen if I couldn’t. Over the years I have experienced we are more scared about the repercussion of our failure than its real cause. As a result we fear it so much that we are never ready to accept it.

Somebody rightly said......
Be an ocean not a mountain. An ocean which is so deep that it can engulf almost everything. It never opposes anything but its deepness scares everyone. It calmness confuses the opponents. Its outlook never allows to guess what’s there in its mind.
There is lot more in life to gain than to lose. Open the arms wide open, embrace everything....be it a success or a failure. Success gives celebration and failure provides experience. Both are important.

The noise of the class bought me back in the class.

I swallowed some air and said, “Class, I am not getting the trick which needed to be applied here.”

This was probably another good moment to observe their reaction, but my situation didn’t permit me. I looked outside to the window. I felt better ...as if somebody has taken weights off my chest. I had accepted my failure I was relaxed.
Finally the bell rang.

As I came out of the class, Pankaj asked “What the hell.......What happened to you.”
I was taken aback.
“What!!! What happened.........nothing......who said” I asked wiping my face.
As I looked towards him, found he was pointing towards the green patch on my pant.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

Where Are You!!!

April, 1990:
“Papa, what is a mela!!!!”
He looked at me and said “A place where you get lot of toys”.
“Ohh!!! That Singh uncle’s shop”. I frowned as I expected something more exciting.
“No beta, I meant lots of shops”.
“Papa you know!!! Pinki went to the mela yesterday with her mamma and papa”.
After a pause I asked “Will you take us there?”
“It’s far in the city. Ok let’s see!!” He replied while arranging some of his files.

I went to kitchen and asked Ma “Please Ma lets go, I will buy only one toy”.
She smiled and asked “Where!!!”
”Ask Prabhakar aunty where they went yesterday and give the address to papa; it seems he doesn’t know the place”. Her smile became more prominent and said “ok!! first you have your breakfast”.
”Ma!!! I will count up to 50 and will recite the multiplication table of 1 right up to 1X10”
I started counting at top of my voice “one, two, three.....” and followed her wherever she went; kitchen to bedroom to veranda and finally she said “Ok!!! I will talk to your papa”.

In evening papa came earlier than his usual time. “Get ready fast. We are going to mela”.
’Yeeaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!’ I jumped off my bed, got into my slippers and ran to pinki’s house, to check which toy she had bought exactly. What I found was a Barbie doll but there was commando jeep too. ‘Hey!! Whose jeep is that?’
‘That’s for my cousin brother’, she replied.

I came back with the same speed, almost breathless, “Papa.....”
Took a deep breath
“Papa...... it’s commando jeep.” My eyebrows stretched right into my forehead and smile was as wide as it could be.
“Relax, beta.....now get ready”

Really it was very far, it took us around 1 hour to reach there.
It was very crowded and I took some time to absorb what a mela is.
I was excited to find so many toy shops at one place but at times was getting bored when papa was going into some book shops.

“Papa leave my hand once, there is a pebble inside my shoe”. He left my hand; I took it out and held his fingers again. Standing at the ground I could only see the legs moving, I marked my father with his black pant.
I followed the blank pant and was happy that he came out of the book shop.

I looked up “Papa........now comman..d..o...” words dried in my mouth “You are not my papa”.
The man looked down and said....something......I said my name in a very trembling voice. I checked his pant colour again, it was black. He again said something in louder voice and I couldn’t hold it further I started crying ‘Ma........Ma...’ I couldn’t find them anywhere. My eyes roved everywhere, I cried louder, then I saw a brown pant, looked up, his dress and cap told me he is a police. The man said something to him and went away.
He took me near the main gate and gave me a chair to seat. He helped me as I struggled to climb on it.
I cried for all most 15 mins......and then I was wheezing.......Probably for the first time I in life I felt insecure I realized who my world is and without whom I am so alone.
I closed my eyes and said to GOD “Gimme back my Ma and papa and my sister..........I will do my homework......and won’t steal my sister’s chocolate”.

Police uncle came near to me and lifted me in his arms. I might have reminded him of his grandson or son or someone in his life.
“Ghar Kahaan hai”’
I said “Baroda”.
“I know ‘Baroda’ but where in Baroda”
I pointed my finger towards a driver less auto-rickshaw waiting outside the gate and said “He knows!!! He knows my school, drawing school......and he took me here with my Ma, papa and Sister!!! “
He smiled ....rather laughed, “ok ok samajh gaya”.
He put me back in the chair.
After a while, he offered me water.
As I lifted the glass and tilted it to drink, I saw HIM, from the corner of my eyes and screamed ‘PAPA’........the whole glass of water splashed on me ........as both of my hands went upwards may be out of jubilation or the relief.

Before police uncle could help me, I jumped off the chair; I fell, but got up and ran.
I ran .............clutched him around his knees, he lifted me up close to him, there was the same expression on his face as of mine...........may be out of jubilation or the relief. I started crying, rubbing my face on his shoulders.....I felt comfortable.......I felt happy ........I felt secure.
He said something to police uncle, shook hands and we left.
He asked “hey!!! Why are you crying now, I am here. We have found the commando jeep”.
”I don’t want jeep, please take me to Ma, where is she, why didn’t she came along with you.”
“She is searching you in the other part”.
I spotted Ma and didi at a distance; I went to her, she lifted me up and kissed me.

20 years passed after that...................

Almost everything changed except those which really matters to me. I am still a kid at home. Ma, papa and didi treat me as a kid and I behave as if I am really a one.
Some things should never change

Today it has been almost 7 years since I am staying away from them. Reasons are many my study, my job.
Sometime I feel as lonely as I felt in that mela. I feel strangulated. But then the desire of achieving a new commando jeep everyday compels me to continue. Sometime I ponder, can these commando jeeps make me happy.
My grandma used to say “Son whatever tastiest curry you get but you can’t enjoy that until you don’t have rice on your plate”. Ya I am not enjoying them without my Ma, papa and my sister.
Still I long for............. those walks in the evening with Ma when I used to tell her what happened in school.........those nights when I used to clutch my papa around his tummy and would fall asleep..............those silly pranks I used play on my didi.

The tears rolled down my cheeks but I wiped them off before my roomie could see them.
After all, men are not supposed to cry

Wanna Fight..........Just a sec!!!!!!!!

I thanked God as I could successfully board the crowded train. As expected I didn’t get a seat but I managed myself to find a place to stand. Thinking of the sweet weekend that has just passed in my Mausi’s place, I chuckled on my own.
The old gentle man standing in front of me reminded me of my Mausaji. As my eyes started to scan the compartment for pretty faces, I felt a jerk (later I came to know that it was because the train changed its tracks); the jerk was a bit stronger than the usual ones. All most everybody who were standing lost their balance. Somehow I controlled myself but found the old person in front of me was going to collide with an iron bar. I hold his arm and prevented the collision. (I felt proud of my strength and my heart said bravo!!!! What a high moral values.)
As he gained controlled he turned towards me, I looked up and expected a big THANK YOU from him. He looked at me with amazement and said “Hey you!!! Why did you push me, what the hell you think of yourself?”
I couldn’t believe my ears. “What are you talking about!!!? You were falling and I saved you” I said in a much louder than my usual tone and found by now lot of people had found interest in this entertainment episode.
“Saved my foot!!! You and your arrogant generation are good for nothing” He mumbled to himself. I didn’t reply as I didn’t want to drag it further and gave a sarcastic smile to those who were watching me as B grade movie villain”.
I looked outside the window.
After an hour I got down at howrah and decided to catch bus from the other end of howrah bridge. My fascination for howrah bridge hasn’t dipped even by an inch as compared to when, I first saw it, at the age of 4. As I walked a few steps, the cool breeze kissed my cheeks and played with my hairs. For the time being kolkata allowed me to forget it’s sticky humidity. I could hear the faint sound of ferries coming from far below.
My mind went back to what happened in train and tried to figure out why it happened. I tried to save him but why did he react in that manner. As a fresh breeze swept my face I closed my eyes and could see the whole puzzle unravelling in front of me.
As I brooded more I realized that, he might have felt that I had pushed him or maybe he had gained his balance by the time I had caught him or he might have thought I had used him to save myself from falling.
Both of us thought, we were right (may be because we human beings are expected not to be wrong anytime). Though none of us were wrong but in no time we started hating each other. I realized similar sort of event is happening umpteen numbers of times every day and everywhere. And I discovered the sole reason of all our fights.
I remembered the words of my father, he said, when I was weeping after a fight with one of my friend ‘Nobody is right and nobody is wrong it does all depend who and how interpret the situation.’ Had this thought had come to me at that time I wouldn’t have even behaved rudely with that gentleman. A wave of guilt churned inside my stomach. But it’s never late. And I promised myself to fight my every fight only after getting into the other’s shoes.
Suddenly I heard a blaring sound and as I came out of my reverie I found myself in front of the traffic and a sardarji taxi driver is blowing the horn. I smiled and said “Sorry it’s surely not your fault and may be not mine either”. The sardarji waved back an ear to ear smile and said “oye koi nahi yaar”!!!!!
I closed my eyes and said “Thank you Sir, you taught me great lesson.”

Freewill

Does education leads towards reality or towards something which majority feel correct. But it does wonder most of the times when it compels us to contemplate in any particular issue. I believe that’s the most important role of education.
And today it did one more wonder when a question came in class ‘what is the difference between human being and animal.’
As our professors said and so does the research- ‘It’s the free will’. It’s something which we have but they don’t. Animals always act in a predetermined manner. Though, the basket of their predetermined manners may contain more than one action. But in case of human being no such basket exists. This factor of ‘freewill’ creates all the uncertainties in the human behaviour. Though we may feel blessed for such a gift but then we should also know that ‘free-will’ is the only reason why only human being can commit suicide and no other species can. (So everything comes with a price).
Really the concept of free will tickled me. Not until I thought........What about love? Is that genetically coded or is it a free will. Though, it is both a human as well as animal behaviour. But then I see a lot of free will existing in LOVE.
Then my friend Mudit argued –“If love is true then it is genetically coded otherwise it is a will. True love can’t be temporal.” On contrary I feel even true love can be temporal and freewill has a fair amount of role to play in it.
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Neil loved John as a friend (True love). Incidentally, John is a contract killer. When Neil came to know that John is on a wrong path; he dint lose confidence immediately, rather wanted (and tried) to bring him in right path.. (Illustrating one of the features of true love). But Neil didn’t succeed in his attempt. As Jhon denies leaving his profession, Neil gets disappointed and keeps safe distance. (Though the love doesn’t come to a halt)
But one day the contract killer Jhon kills Neil's girlfriend Sharon (nothing personal only out of profession).............
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I feel Neil’s freewill has role to play to determine their(Neil-John) course of love(friendship).
What say guys (of course gals too)!!!!!!!!!